Naseer shudders at Corrigan's words, a happy full-body shiver of absolute indulgence. Even after all these years, even being the second-highest ranking member of the pack since it's foundation, even being—debatably—the oldest of the six, there's still nothing that beats Alpha's praise. Ever the born Beta. Nothing makes him as happy as serving his Alpha does, as doing a good job for him, as making him proud.
Especially like this, servicing their enchanting little mate with his mouth, seeing and hearing and feeling how much they're enjoying themself inside him. Kurt is whining and moaning with pleasure, both from Corrigan's thick fingers inside and from Naseer's hot, slick, tight throat expertly clenching around their cock, fluttering every time he moves. It's bliss.
Is this what Kai felt like yesterday? No wonder he came down their throat so fast. Kurt feels like they're going to explode, and Naseer has barely even moved yet.
"Th-Thank you!" they cry, cheeks flushing with embarrassment and desire both, a needy wail escaping them as Corrigan pushes his fingers so deep inside. Kurt reaches for the Beta, needing something to hold on to, carding through his thick tied-back curls with trembling fingers. Naseer seems to like it when their nails score his scalp, prompting soft rumbles of pleasure deep in his chest, his tongue pushing hungrily against their cock as he sucks them off.
Which just makes Kurt keen and whine more. "Yes! N-Naseer! Thank you for t-taking me in your mouth, it f-feels so good, y-your throat feels amazing! Th-Thank you for helping get me ready for— f-for you to fuck me! Alphaaa, p-please," they sob, twitching every time Naseer takes them into his throat. Even hazy-eyed with praise and choking on cock, he still manages to look smug. "He f-feels so good, Alpha!"
Corrigan can tell Naseer's holding back -- when he's at his most intense, he can make any member of the pack come within moments. Even the very practiced Alpha, for all his smug bragging about stamina. But this is all so new for Kurt, already so intense and overwhelming, even with Naseer barely moving. Corrigan wonders if their sweet, recently-virginal mate has ever even touched themselves before, if they have any idea how many wonderful ways their body can feel.
"I know, my love, it feels so good, so hot and perfect around your beautiful cock." He murmurs it against their ear, moving his fingers in rhythmic, rolling motions, caressing Kurt’s slick, hot inside, seeking out that place within them that'll truly send them into blissful madness. "Do you know how perfect you are? Every inch of you, made without flaw, intoxicating to us. There's nothing wrong in you, nothing shameful." Even as the fact he has to say this sends an ache through Corrigan’s core, he says it over and over against Kurt's neck, their ear, their tangled hair. "Nothing, you're so good, so beautiful, my sweet, perfect mate, my love, my life."
The plaintive plea comes, Kurt blushing and stammering as they obey, saying the filthy words for the first time, seemingly embarrassed. But Corrigan can feel the way they go tight and shuddering around his fingers, how the forbidden words thrill them. He looks forward to teasing them more, once they're wholly secure in their safety. The Alpha stifles a groan, thinking about someday teasing Kurt, just like this, calling them a needy, filthy little slut.
Time enough for that later, though -- the pack has the rest of forever to delight in their perfect mate. What matters is now, Kurt begging him -- for release, for permission, for more. Corrigan is fully hard by now, cock sliding free of it's sheath, rubbing against Kurt's slim back. He exhales, guiding his mate's small hand in tugging at Naseer's curls, seeing his Beta shiver in enjoyment. "Just like that, sweet one, he loves when you pull his hair like that, see? You make us both feel so good, Kurt, you're doing so good for us..." Corrigan slowly pulls his fingers free, guiding his cock to press inside instead -- sooner than he might usually, but wanting to soothe the sting of abandonment from earlier. "Come for me, beloved. I'm here, I won't leave you again. Never again, Kurt, never."
The words are embarrassing, yes—both what Kurt is made to say and what Corrigan purrs into their ear—but something about hearing them spoken makes Kurt feel all weak and liquid inside. It's the same feeling as yesterday, that same intoxicating swirl of shame and pleasure, of humiliation and empowerment, coiling tight and hot in their gut.
Maybe it's the surprising pleasure of pain they inadvertently discovered yesterday. Not just physical pain lovingly given, but emotional pain as well, spiritual pain. The wolves don't find them reprehensible for enjoying their attentions, the ones they were always taught were shameful and filthy. In fact, they encourage Kurt to let go, to surrender, to feel the wealth of sensation overwhelming them with every part of their body and soul.
When they do, finally allowing themself to feel everything—Naseer humming around their cock when they pull his hair, his head bobbing faster and more focused, Corrigan's fingers leaving them and his thick flared cock taking their place, filling them up so completely—the pleasure is explosive. Kurt comes with a shuddering wail, clenching Naseer's hair as they empty down his tight, hot throat, their toes curling into the furs.
The Beta, terribly pleased with his performance, slowly pulls back once Kurt's cock stops twitching on his tongue. He swallows every drop of their spend with a satisfied moan, licking them clean, barely even needing to catch his breath before he starts showering them with praise. "Stunning, you're so perfect for us, beloved little dove, you did beautifully." The whole time, he presses hungry kisses to their shuddering stomach, their quivering thighs. He can see where Corrigan is joined with their mate, and it makes his mouth water.
"That's it, very good, deep breaths for me, my love," Naseer purrs, running his hands over Kurt's heaving chest, bitten and swollen and slick with salve. He steals a kiss from his breathless mate, then from his Alpha, shooting Corrigan a wolfish grin as he pulls back. "They should catch their breath before returning the favor, yes?"
"Mmmhm," is Corrigan’s quick response, busy reaching out to snag his fingers into Naseer's curls and drag him back for a proper, deep kiss. He almost purrs in approval at the taste of Kurt on his Beta's tongue, hungrily sliding his own into Naseer's mouth, greedy and demanding. His hips rock lazily upwards, in no great rush, enjoying how Kurt shudders through the aftershocks of their climax, tight and rhythmic around the Alpha’s cock.
"So indulgent," Corrigan breathes out when he finally releases Naseer, raining a few more kisses across his flushed, blissful face. "But yes, catch your breath, little love." He releases his grip on Naseer, wraps both arms around Kurt and snuggles them closer against his chest, feeling their pulse racing wildly, the heave of each breath. Best of all, he can feel their pleasure singing through the pack link, a soaring, blissful feeling that's achingly sweet in how new it is. Every touch is a marvel, a revelation of all the wondrous things their body can do.
Corrigan strokes a big hand up and down over Kurt's shuddering stomach, murmuring against their neck: "Beloved, we're just getting started. Just you wait..."
Alpha spoke the truth. They'd only just gotten started enjoying Kurt's body for a second time, easing them through climax after climax, using their hands and mouth and ass with renewed purpose. Once Corrigan and Naseer are done with them—that in itself taking a while, as neither of the pack leaders want to relinquish their shuddering, wailing little mate—the rest of the pack returns from breaking down the buck, more than happy to join in.
It does wonders for Kurt's anxious nerves, letting their hungry mates help themselves to their body. They completely forget ever being frightened of them. How could they be frightened of Kai, patiently teaching them how to pleasure him with their hands, or of Leo, licking and sucking their sensitive nipples while fucking them slow and deep, or of Benji, gasping breathlessly as he comes down their throat for the first time? How could they be frightened of their Alpha, watching his pack enjoy their mate with a loving smile on his face?
Kurt wishes this would go on forever. This mindless, all-consuming bliss, the roaring swells of pleasure and joy inside them every time they come, every time they take a knot, every time their stomach swells close to bursting with their mates' spend.
But it too comes to an end. After relieving themselves within their mate, the pack regains its composure, cleaning the little human up and allowing them their rest. The herbal medicines have left them free of pain and nerves, the pack's focused attentions leaving them giggly and affectionate within the furs, cuddling with anyone who wants to. They all talk for a while, shadows inching across the dusty cabin floor as they get to know each other throughout the day, sharing how long the pack has been here, when they all joined, who claimed who. Kurt shares what they're comfortable sharing, telling the curious pack about their skills, their interests, their dreams of being a homesteader.
Being a wolf isn't so different from being a human as they'd been lead to believe.
By the time the sun starts waning, Kurt is up and about, exploring the cabin with Benji by their side. Naseer is tending to the simmering stew, having shown them what herbs he uses to flavor the cooking meat—teaching them, as they may take over preparing meals in the future—leaving the youngest pack members to prepare the bowls for eating.
"You carved these yourself?" Kurt asks, mesmerized as they turn a rough hewn bowl over in their hands. "That's amazing. You're really talented, Benji."
"He has his moments," Kai teases, sitting up from where he'd been sprawled in the furs, half-asleep, even though it's been hours since he'd spilled over Kurt's hands with an all-consuming growl of pleasure. Corrigan’s still there, sitting back against the furs with his eyes half-closed, blissful in the satisfaction of his pack, his mate. The fearful unease of that morning is gone, replaced with a comfortable bliss the Alpha hasn't felt since leaving his childhood pack -- a cohesion he's longed for ever since.
Kurt had done that. Beautiful, sweet-voiced, bright-eyed Kurt, their hair neatly rebraided (Benji had pulled most of it loose when Kurt was sucking him off, and had apologized profusely, the words not ringing fully true considering he was still coming as he said them) and hanging down their back, their bare feet so small against the dusty ground. Corrigan idly thinks about brooms, about the way the shabby little cabin can be fixed up, the unused back room turned into a proper bedroom, the ways he can turn their den into a home. He wants to do it all immediately, wants to give Kurt everything they've ever dreamed of, everything they could possibly want.
There's time, though. Time for him to chuckle as Kai bounds up, grabbing Benji around the waist and nuzzling at his neck, teasing: "Look at you blushing, pup, like you didn't just come your brains out down their pretty throat. Don't be so modest."
"I'm not blushing!" Benji squawks, absolutely blushing as he tries to wriggle free from his brother's grasp.
Kurt giggles brightly, their blush almost matching Benji's as they realize how long it's been since they've laughed so freely. It's like they're surprised by the sound of their own laughter. While it sounds foreign and sharp to their ears, it feels so good to just laugh, not held back by fear of scorn or retribution. No one is going to punish them for giggling. No one is furious that they're having fun.
They're also blushing from Kai's words, still remembering the taste of Benji's cock in their mouth, his spend coating their tongue. Part of them wonders if they'll ever get used to this. The sex, the pleasure, their own nudity in the presence of five adult men. How freely they all talk about sex, like it's not shameful or wrong in the slightest. How generous they are with their praise. No one has ever called their throat pretty before.
Kurt supposes they will get used to it with time. Because even as strange and alien as this all is, they know they can never go back to a human life ever again. Why would they want to? Being with the wolves feels so good, so safe.
"Now, be nice to your brother, Kai," they admonish gently, still beaming, crooked teeth and all. "I think Benji is very talented. Carving tableware by hand is no joke! Humans need special machines to even do this, did you know that?" They carefully stack the bowls into each other, feeling the weight of them in their arms. Feeding six people is no joke either, it's heavy work!
"Humans need damn machines for everything. Catch a fish with your teeth, that's the real way to do it." Kai huffs in mock annoyance, but all of the wolves' affection is blatantly obvious -- Naseer by the fire, Leo tossing sticks into the flames to stoke it, Benji squirming in Kai's teasing grasp. They all instinctively turn towards Kurt, like the small human is the center of their whole universe. Their laughter, their sweet smile, their gently chiding words are somehow just as enticing as their moans of pleasure had been.
Even Corrigan, who knows inherently an Alpha's power and draw, understands that the heart of his pack has shifted. If it came to it, each of his brothers would choose Kurt's safety, Kurt's life over their own -- over even their Alpha’s. The thought is surprisingly not troubling to him. He'd rather they choose Kurt, each time.
Corrigan wants deeply to just lounge back in the furs until dinnertime, but he pauses. Perhaps some preternatural Alpha sense tells him to be cautious, seeing the teetering bowls in Kurt's arms, so close to Benji and Kai's roughhousing. "Careful," he barks at the wolves, even as Benji squirms free and stumbles over his own feet.
"Easy for you to say! You could snap me in half with teeth like that," Kurt jokes, laughing even brighter at the mental image of a human kneeling by a river with a fish in their mouth. It feels so natural, joking with them like this, feeling so relaxed even while naked, even while surrounded and outnumbered by five strangers twice their size. Despite the lingering nerves, Kurt can feel themself blossoming, slowly opening up to the pack. Their new family. It feels so good to let their guard down.
It also proves to be dangerous. Benji stumbles away from Kai, his long awkward arms flailing as he tries to catch himself, smacking little Kurt right between their shoulders just as they turn to carry the bowls back to the fireplace. Startled, they stumble too, losing their balance, losing their grip, falling—
Everything happens all at once. Bowls go flying, clattering to the ground with an awful cacophony of wood meeting wood, sending dust flying into the air. One of the bowls ricochets off a jar of powdered nettle left out on the counter, which shatters as soon as it hits the floor, powder and glass going everywhere. Kurt hits the floor too with a sharp cry, just barely catching themself on their elbows, pain shooting through their body from the sudden impact, skin breaking. Thankfully, as they push themself up, it seems they're largely unharmed, escaping with only scrapes and bruises.
But when they look up to see the damage they've caused, they fear that might not be the case for long. They made such an awful mess. They spilled precious medicine all over the floor. They cracked a couple of Benji's beautiful handmade bowls, one of them split right down the middle. Father would've beat them within an inch of their life if they did this to him.
But they're not with Father. They're surrounded and outnumbered by five strangers twice their size, with teeth that could snap them in half. The stab of fear in their gut at that thought is petrifying, making their blood run ice cold.
"Sorry," they barely manage, unable to look at any of them as they push themself up on their knees, trembling hands trying and failing to sweep up their mess. It's hard to see anything through the vale of tears over their eyes. "Sorry, s-sorry, I'm s-so sorry, please..."
It happens so quickly -- and for years, years, Corrigan will hate himself for not acting sooner, for not standing and stepping in to guide the roughhousing away from his still-fragile, still-fearful mate. One good day doesn't make up for the thousand bad ones that preceded it. An afternoon of kindness can't undo the cruelty that's been Kurt's guardian and teacher their entire life.
As long as he lives, Corrigan will remember the flood of terror that shot through his mate's scent, the way they looked kneeling on the ground, curled in on themselves, apologizing over and over and reaching out to try and clean up glass with their shaking hands. As long as he lives, there's a part of him that will never forgive himself for letting that happen.
He acts quickly -- much quicker than the stricken Benji, who's clutching his hand to his chest, than Kai, who's staring in confusion and horror, than Leo, who's turned to Naseer to wordlessly demand answers for Kurt's reaction. Quicker than Naseer, who Corrigan knows remembers a version of this fear, old and buried, a childhood terror of punishment that his Alpha has spent years trying to erase. Now it's back, captured in the way Kurt’s hands are trying to scoop up the bits of glass, the way they're angled away from the pack, shoulders braced, head down. Waiting for the violence, the blow.
It doesn't come. It'll never come again. Corrigan wants to say it, scream it, seal it in the blood of whoever did this to his mate. Instead, he reaches out, hands catching Kurt's and holding them firmly, away from the glass. "Beloved, don't," he says, a soft kind of agony in his voice. "You'll hurt yourself. Don't."
Their terror at being touched cuts through the pack link, the raw brutality of their fear as painful as any knife blade, scoring bone. Just as sharp is Kurt's frightened whimper, slicing the air open. They fully expected to be struck. Punished for their clumsiness, their incompetence, their uselessness. They're still expecting it, even as Alpha pleads with them to stop, or they'll hurt themself.
When you're punished for every perceived fault and slight, you learn to behave in ways that appease people. You quickly learn to make yourself meek, to apologize, to not do anything that will further provoke violent punishment, like argue or protest or run or hide or make eye contact. You learn to shut up when told, and to grovel when not. You learn to make yourself a smaller target once the first blow has been dealt.
Corrigan tells them to stop sweeping, so they do. They whimper as he takes their hands—firm, not squeezing, not crushing, just firm—but quickly go still in his grip. Their palms are covered with dust and nettle powder, wet with fallen tears. They keep their head down, staring at their scraped knees, body trembling, throat closing up, lungs not taking air, heart pounding against their ribs.
They keep apologizing. "I'm sorry, please, I d-didn't mean to— I'll clean it all up, I'll fix it, p-please, I'm so sorry."
Naseer can only stare in shock, their panic familiar and devastating in a way he thought he'd long since buried. Seeing that fear and pain reflected in his mate is almost too much to bear. Benji is starting to panic too, reaching for Kai, wide eyes filling with tears and flicking between his brother and his Alpha, not knowing what to do. It's his fault, isn't it? He should fix it, shouldn't he? Why is Kurt saying they'll fix it? It's not their fault!
"It's m-my fault," Kurt whimpers, thoughtlessly reciting all the things they've been taught to say to protect themself, "I'm so stupid, Papa, please, I'm s-sorry—"
When Corrigan was small -- tiny, actually, for his age, something that seems impossible now, but he'd been scrawny well into his teens -- he'd tripped once while chasing after the bigger pups. He'd fallen hard, bruising his palms and skinning open his knees, blood bursting out with a shock of pain that had struck him as wildly unjust, prompting a wail that was more surprise than genuine pain. His first instinct then had been to sob out Papa, in pain and confusion, and in that instant, his father, the Alpha, had been there. Nothing else had mattered, the instant Corrigan had called out. Papa had been there.
There's a bitterly cruel symmetry in how Kurt's response to pain, to fear, is also to call out for their father -- but in a plea for mercy, for forgiveness, to stave off the inevitable punishment. Corrigan had suspected the cause of his mate's deep-held pain, as had Naseer, but Kurt's tearful begging brings it into stark confirmation. For the rest of the pack, it's an unthinkable, abhorrent thought: first, that there are parents who harm their own children. Second, that one of them shares blood with the pack's beloved, their chosen, their mate.
The ripple of realization is tangible, a mixture of rage and grief and confusion, audible snarls as the pack finally puts together the pieces. Benji is half-growling, half-sniffling, Kai looks ready to put his fist through the wall and Corrigan loves them, loves their righteous fury, their impulsive rage, but they are not helping. He doesn't blame them, but this isn't the place Kurt needs to be, knelt on the ground, surrounded by anger. They've been there too many times.
So the Alpha acts, leans forward and scoops his mate easily into his arms, folding them against his warm, broad chest. He meets Naseer's gaze, briefly, half-apology -- he won't go far, but he needs Kurt to have space to get out of the terrified memory they're trapped in. He needs his Beta to calm the others, soothe them through this initial shock, just for a little. Help the pack be strong so they can comfort their mate.
Then Corrigan steps outside, into the chilly shock of the evening air, into the bright scent of the forest and the sound of the river and the soft coo of owls and mourning doves -- all different from the sounds and scents of Kurt's human world, he hopes. And, if that isn't enough to bring them back, Corrigan keeps them close to his chest, hand stroking up and down their shivering back, voice soft and rumbling through his chest and into theirs: "My love, my beloved, you're safe. You're safe. You're here, you're with me, I won't let anyone hurt you, ever again. You're safe, Kurt. You're safe."
"Please— P-Please, don't, Papa, I'm sorry," they whimper, over and over, terrified of what's going to happen to them now. They can feel the brewing rage through the pack link, all five of them trying to contain their simmering fury, even amidst a sadness Kurt can't articulate. They're all so mad. Mad at Kurt. They ruined it, they ruined everything, they always ruin everything.
Corrigan scoops them up, and Kurt struggles, wriggling in his arms and pushing at his broad chest, scared out of their mind. They don't catch Naseer's haunted but understanding nod, nor Benji's squawk of protest, nor the shuffling of feet as Kai and Leo both try to push their way past the Beta to follow Corrigan outside. There's a burst of noise, yelling from within the cabin, Naseer's voice firm but gentle as he tries calming the pack, but the words are obscured by the door closing, by Alpha carrying them further and further away into the cold and dark.
He's speaking to them. They don't understand what he says, can't really hear the words, only that his voice is so gentle. They hiccup, shuddering, shaking their head, hands curling into trembling fists against his chest. Why is he so gentle with them? Why isn't he hitting them?
Why does he keep saying they're safe? It doesn't make any sense.
"I'm so sorry." Kurt starts sobbing. It's quiet at first, but once they start they can't stop, the dam bursting wide open. Soon their whole body is wracked with sobs, loud and wet and pained, wrenching out of their chest one after another while they curl up tight in Alpha's arms. "I d-didn't mean to b-break anyth-thing, I'm so s-sorry, I— I didn't mean to, please! I d-don't wanna go—!"
The struggles are -- they're painful, of course, so different from even the meek squirming the day before, when the pack had first caught their mate unawares. That had been fear and fascination, had been Kurt at least somewhat clear-headed about what was happening. Corrigan had been prepared for that, above all. He hadn't anticipated holding his mate as they desperately struggled to get away, convinced to their core that he was going to hurt them.
It passes, and the escape attempts are replaced with Kurt sobbing in his arms, which still wrenches at Corrigan’s deepest soul, but is mildly more bearable. He's no longer the enemy Kurt knows, no longer the stand-in for the terrified young human's greatest fear (their father, their father, someone who gave Kurt life, whose blood will one day run in the veins of Corrigan’s own pups, the person whose blood he most longs to taste).
Corrigan is Alpha again, and Kurt still fears punishment, that much is clear in their panicked scent and wrenching sobs. He cradles his mate to his chest, projecting calm through the pack link -- both for Kurt's sake and the wolves left in the cabin, soothing and reassuring: safe, they're safe, be calm, be at peace, all is well, they're with me, no harm will come to them. When the tumultuous roil of anger and grief subsides somewhat, Corrigan turns his attention back to Kurt, speaking aloud.
"All is forgiven, my love," he murmurs, turning toward the cabin, letting Kurt see it's light and warmth. "You've done nothing wrong and you won't be punished. This isn't a punishment. We'll stay here until you're ready to go back, and then we'll return." He presses kisses to Kurt's tousled hair, their temple, swaying a little as he speaks in a low, soothing, rumbling voice. "You aren't leaving us, beloved. You're ours, you're mine, you're never going back there. This is your home and you're safe in it, Kurt."
A hesitation, then -- even as it hurts, as it claws at the deepest parts of Corrigan’s soul to hear those wrenching sobs -- he adds: "You're allowed to cry, my love. You can cry. There will be no punishment, and I will be here when you begin and I will be here at the end. I won't let you go. You can cry."
It doesn't feel real. It can't be. It never is. Kurt has so rarely known comfort like this, they don't know what to do with themself, caught between wanting to push away and curl further into it, disappear within it. Only the women at school and church would hold them like this, gently rock them, soothe their pain and fear with kisses and kind words, but even that stopped as they grew older, because boys shouldn't cry. So this must be some kind of trick. Some kind of ruse in order to punish them.
But Alpha promised. He promised the pack wouldn't hurt them, he promised they would be safe here. He promised they wouldn't ever have to go back. Even now, as they tremble and bawl in his arms, Alpha tells them they've done nothing wrong, they won't be punished, they'll stay with the pack who will love and protect them no matter what, no matter how hard they cry.
He gives them permission to cry. Despite their fear of retribution, all Kurt wanted more than anything was permission.
A life time's worth of grief pours from them in shuddering wails, splitting the cool evening air. They weep uncontrollably for a while, grasping their Alpha, clinging to him for safety, for comfort. Every inch of their body hurts as tension they never knew they had starts unraveling, melting away as it finally starts sinking in that they're safe. They're safe, they're safe, the pack will protect them, Alpha will protect them, they're finally safe.
It feels like an eternity, but their sobs eventually fade into wet brittle hiccups, their frame going slack and shaky in his strong arms. They haven't cried this hard in a long time. Haven't been able to. Or allowed. It's only in the safety of Corrigan's arms that their fear and grief could finally escape. "S-Sorry," they whimper, but it's not the panicked plea for mercy from earlier. "I d-didn't mean to get s-so frightened..."
The entire village. Everyone who stood by and knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it. Every one of them who overlooked Kurt's bruises, their fear, their misery, who turned the other way and slept peacefully at night with the rationalization that it was none of their business. Every one of them will pay.
The thoughts aren't exactly verbal, more an echoed cacophony of emotions between the pack, telegraphed through the link and through the scent in the air. Corrigan and his wolves are of one mind on this, and the promise of future vengeance is enough to calm their ferociously protective instincts. For now.
Kurt hopefully misses it -- they might protest, might insist they deserved it all, the mistreatment and violence and abuse. It'll take time for them to understand that they're safe, not only to weep and mourn their stolen life, but to look back and recognize it was stolen in the first place. Corrigan understands that much, an old internal wound from the months after Naseer's rescue from another village, remembering the way his Beta had behaved in those days -- like a caged beast relearning how to walk and talk and exist without fear. Corrigan remembers how long it takes to unlearn that kind of terror.
So he settles in the hollow of a tree, back against it's trunk, rocking and murmuring to Kurt as they sob against his chest. When it passes, when his mate is weary and weak, he kisses their forehead, strokes their hair back. "I know you didn't, love," he responds softly. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault, all right? Not a bit of it."
He'll say it until Kurt believes it. Until they accept that it's true.
He's right. They may never accept that as truth. It may well take the rest of Kurt's life to recognize the true depths of their trauma, how badly they'd been betrayed by not only their family, but by their community as well. It may well be months or years until they believe Corrigan when he says they're not at fault, if they ever actually do.
But one thing they can believe—tentatively, with major trepidation—is that Corrigan wishes them no harm. He and the pack alike have been nothing but kind to them, playful and eager and loving, so happy to claim them as their collective mate. Even after spilling Naseer's carefully prepared medicine, after shattering Benji's beautiful handmade bowls, after thoroughly ruining dinner, Corrigan still has only their safety and happiness in mind. He cradles them close, kisses them, soothes them with touch, chasing the shivers and hiccups away with those big warm hands. He afforded them the privacy to break down, without leaving them cold and alone with their fear.
He cares. They all care. They must.
"Th-Thank you..." It's quiet and hoarse, not entirely convinced. Trembling, they bury their face in Alpha's shoulder, arms slowly looping around his neck. "I f-feel awful. I..." Kurt frowns, trying to pull at the threads of all the things they're feeling right now, sort them all into boxes that make sense. It's hard to concentrate through the blooming headache.
"I can f-feel them... th-the pack." It's the only thing that makes sense. Their arms tighten around him. "Everyone feels s-so upset... I-I didn't mean to upset anyone, A-Alpha."
Aware that this might, in fact, be the very first time Kurt's ever been allowed to verbalize what they're feeling, Corrigan waits patiently, settling his mate in his lap, cuddled close to his chest. One hand smooths up their back, chasing away the night chill, finding the back of their neck and slowly rubbing his thumb in small, massaging circles. It's been a while since Corrigan has cried -- much less as violently as Kurt just did -- but he remembers the wrung-out headache that follows.
"Not upset, little bird," he corrects gently, chin resting on Kurt's hair, coaxing away the last shivery hiccups. "Not at you. They're worried about you, that's all." Not strictly true -- the pack is enraged, but they're doing their best to project a sense of calm instead, rather than letting the anger bleed into the link. "You didn't do anything wrong, Kurt. If anything, they're more annoyed at me for spriting you away."
Corrigan slowly rises to his feet, easily carrying Kurt back towards the warmth of the cabin. "Close your eyes, beloved. Feel what they're truly thinking, what they want." Interpreting the pack link is a nuanced art -- wolves don't think in words, more emotions and senses and pictures, and everything that travels through that connection is pure wolf. There's a sense of unease, of concern, the impression of things being tidied up, put away -- no more broken glass or cracked bowls. There's the food over the fire and the fluffed-up furs, the pack clustered together and waiting.
And above it all, an eager, hopeful sense, so vivid it’s nearly an audible plea -- come back home. Come back to us. Come home.
Kurt clings onto Corrigan as he rises, curling up tighter in his arms, whimpering softly like they're nervous to return to the cabin. Yes, Alpha says the pack is not upset with them, not angry at them for their little outburst, but it's not so easy to believe. The rage Kurt feels isn't their own, but it's still real, even if they only feel inklings of it. This is more than annoyance at Alpha for taking them outside. This is blood fury.
But they try their best to believe him. No one would blame Kurt for feeling a little vulnerable in this moment, right? Who could fault them for still being fearful, apprehensive, a touch spooked? Their chest still hitches with every breath, echoes of their wrenching sobs. But Alpha wouldn't lie to them. Right?
So they try their best to do as he says, pushing down their own fear as the cabin approaches so they can close their eyes and focus. It's hard, disentangling all the warring sensations within, naming which feelings are their own. But there is one emotion that rings out louder than the rest. A hopeful sensation, a wanting, a loving call.
Come home.
Kurt opens their eyes as the door creaks back open, the warmth of the fire against chilled skin making them shiver. They see their mates perk up, one by one, anxious eyes turning towards them, relieved that they're still here, safe and held and much less frightened. Kai is scrubbing at his face, eyes red-rimmed and glassy, Leo's face splits into the biggest smile they've ever seen, Naseer deflates with relief, nearly sinking through the floor. They're all so happy to see them. Even Kurt can't misinterpret that swell of emotion through the pack link, making their eyes burn anew.
"Remember," Naseer gently whispers, a big hand squeezing Benji's trembling shoulder. "Give them a little space. They'll let us know when they're ready." The Beta seeks Corrigan's gaze, hoping and praying for good news. That it all went well out there. Hearing their wails of despair while trying to stay calm for the rest of the pack was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.
Corrigan cradles Kurt firmly against his chest, feeling them trembling, hearing their heart racing like a jackrabbit. But they're trying -- they want to believe him, that they're actually safe. They want it to be true, he can tell. So they sit up straight and don't protest the return to the cabin, despite their deeply ingrained fear.
The Alpha’s soft smile is partially for the pack and partially in pride. Kurt is already so much braver than they realize. He drops a kiss on the top of their head, murmuring, "Sweet little bird, that's it. Let's get you warmed up, hm?"
Of course, Corrigan hadn't let Kurt get even slightly chilled, but the words give the pack something to do -- Leo pulling a fluffy ermine skin from the pile in the corner and hesitantly offering it, Benji scurrying over to shut the door against the chill, Naseer scooping the warm, savory stew into a bowl. Corrigan settles on the furs once more, accepting the ermine and the bowl on Kurt's behalf, ensuring that his mate's space is honored until they're ready.
But he does pause to stroke his fingers over the back of Naseer's hand, giving him a long, grateful look. There's tenderness in it, love and thankfulness that Corrigan fully intends to show once Kurt is calmer. Their mate's presence in the pack doesn't mean Corrigan intends to neglect his duties as Alpha. Showing physical affection is an important part of reinforcing harmony in the pack.
The pack hurries to tend to them, being so so mindful of their space, and Kurt has never been more grateful of anything or anyone in their life. There are no demands for their attention, no insistence they touch or speak to anyone until they want to. No punishment.
It will still take some time. But as Kurt curls up in Corrigan's lap, feeling the warmth of the furs draped over their shoulder and the bowl in their hands, seeing the love in the gazes of every wolf around them, they get closer and closer to believing Alpha's words.
They're safe here. They will always be safe here.
"Th-Thank you," they murmur hoarsely, cradling the bowl of stew. As it becomes clear they won't face punishment from the pack, Kurt starts to feel embarrassed for having reacted so strongly. It prompts a warm curl of understanding through the pack link, Naseer gazing up at them from his seat on the floor, tending to the food. No one blames you, it says. Kurt sniffles, trying to believe it.
"Why don't you pups get ready for bed?" the Beta suggests, glancing around at the boys, all aimlessly standing around, not sure what to do. "It's been an exciting couple of days. We all need our rest."
There's some frowning from the younger members of the pack, who seem to be fully content to stand there awkwardly for the rest of time -- or at least until Kurt summons them. Leo glances sideways at Corrigan, who returns the look with two arched eyebrows, clearly saying you know damn well I'm not gonna disagree with Naseer, you better do what he says.
Kai exhales, still red-eyed, then elbows Benji, taking initiative. "Hey, race you to the river!" Benji stumbles, swats at Kai and hurtles after him and Leo out the door.
There's a soft curl of approval from Corrigan towards Kai -- he'll be rewarded for that, later, too -- before he turns back to nuzzle at Kurt's shoulder. "Eat up, love, you need your strength," he murmurs. Then, giving Naseer a woeful, doe-eyed look: "Where's my dinner?"
The pot is literally right there and Corrigan can totally reach it himself, but he wants to be waited on.
Naseer couldn't be prouder of Kai. The growth he's shown over the years has been promising, if a little slow—some wolves seem to stay pups for life—but the sensitivity and grace he's shown just in the day and a half they've known Kurt has been breathtaking. Taking initiative, reading their emotions, encouraging his pack mates, being so careful and gentle with Kurt...
Should he ever splinter off from the pack someday, it would be a terrible loss. But he'd make a great Alpha someday.
Maybe he wouldn't expect to be waited on hand and foot the way their current one does.
"Say please," Naseer quips, eyebrow raised, already scooping stew into a bowl for his no-good lazy-bones Alpha. "Like you ever listen to me. Maybe you could help teach Cor some manners, little dove." Kurt blushes, hiding their face in their own bowl, making the Beta laugh warmly. "I have a feeling he'd finally learn something for once, if it came from you."
"I d-dunno about that," the human manages, shakily wiping stew from their chin. The warmth, the food, the quiet, all the attention... it's helping them relax once more, settling heavy and boneless in Alpha's lap.
"Pleaaaasse," Corrigan obliges, dragging the word out as he plucks the bowl from Naseer's hand, then catches it, bringing his Beta's wrist up to kiss. There's an old mark there, his mark, even though it's not traditional for Alpha's to mark their second in commands. Naseer's always been more than just a co-pack lead, after all.
And today had been hard on him, hard on them all. But so, so worth it, with Kurt going relaxed and warm in his lap. Corrigan finds his bite on their neck, kisses it softly, a silent reminder of who they are, where they belong. "Are you all right with everyone sleeping close by?" It's gentle, no pressure. If Kurt still needs their space, Corrigan will stay up all night making sure every pack member gets his comforting presence.
Especially Naseer. The Alpha tangles their fingers together, not too close -- not until Kurt says it's all right -- but not letting him out of reach. There are old ghosts awakening in his Beta, and Corrigan won't allow that. He needs to put them back to rest, before he can sleep.
The Beta is immediately soothed by Corrigan's affections, the kiss to his wrist prompting a release of breath he's been holding in for a while. For as much as he whines and gripes and rolls his eyes at him, the Alpha is still the center of his world, still the axis on which everything turns, his one constant to anchor him when storms roll in from the past. Gods and spirits only know where Naseer would be now if not for Corrigan. He saved him all those years ago. He continues to save him now.
Just as he has saved their mate. The fear and trauma that left them bawling and near catatonic earlier is eased away with every kiss, every gentle reassuring word, every caress by those same hands that ease Naseer's own ghosts. They look so small and pale curled up against Corrigan, shivering from his touch.
How anyone could bring themself to hurt such a precious being is a mystery to him. No one will ever hurt them like that again.
"Um... I th-think that's fine," Kurt says, feeling the line of tension in their shoulders give way from the kiss to their claiming bite. Being surrounded by all of their mates through the night doesn't sound so overwhelming anymore. If anything, it makes them feel safer. Protected from ghosts in the night.
Having convinced themself, they close their eyes and nod firmly, settling fully against Corrigan. "Y-Yes, Alpha, I'll be all right."
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Date: 2023-06-04 05:57 pm (UTC)Especially like this, servicing their enchanting little mate with his mouth, seeing and hearing and feeling how much they're enjoying themself inside him. Kurt is whining and moaning with pleasure, both from Corrigan's thick fingers inside and from Naseer's hot, slick, tight throat expertly clenching around their cock, fluttering every time he moves. It's bliss.
Is this what Kai felt like yesterday? No wonder he came down their throat so fast. Kurt feels like they're going to explode, and Naseer has barely even moved yet.
"Th-Thank you!" they cry, cheeks flushing with embarrassment and desire both, a needy wail escaping them as Corrigan pushes his fingers so deep inside. Kurt reaches for the Beta, needing something to hold on to, carding through his thick tied-back curls with trembling fingers. Naseer seems to like it when their nails score his scalp, prompting soft rumbles of pleasure deep in his chest, his tongue pushing hungrily against their cock as he sucks them off.
Which just makes Kurt keen and whine more. "Yes! N-Naseer! Thank you for t-taking me in your mouth, it f-feels so good, y-your throat feels amazing! Th-Thank you for helping get me ready for— f-for you to fuck me! Alphaaa, p-please," they sob, twitching every time Naseer takes them into his throat. Even hazy-eyed with praise and choking on cock, he still manages to look smug. "He f-feels so good, Alpha!"
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Date: 2023-06-05 12:15 am (UTC)"I know, my love, it feels so good, so hot and perfect around your beautiful cock." He murmurs it against their ear, moving his fingers in rhythmic, rolling motions, caressing Kurt’s slick, hot inside, seeking out that place within them that'll truly send them into blissful madness. "Do you know how perfect you are? Every inch of you, made without flaw, intoxicating to us. There's nothing wrong in you, nothing shameful." Even as the fact he has to say this sends an ache through Corrigan’s core, he says it over and over against Kurt's neck, their ear, their tangled hair. "Nothing, you're so good, so beautiful, my sweet, perfect mate, my love, my life."
The plaintive plea comes, Kurt blushing and stammering as they obey, saying the filthy words for the first time, seemingly embarrassed. But Corrigan can feel the way they go tight and shuddering around his fingers, how the forbidden words thrill them. He looks forward to teasing them more, once they're wholly secure in their safety. The Alpha stifles a groan, thinking about someday teasing Kurt, just like this, calling them a needy, filthy little slut.
Time enough for that later, though -- the pack has the rest of forever to delight in their perfect mate. What matters is now, Kurt begging him -- for release, for permission, for more. Corrigan is fully hard by now, cock sliding free of it's sheath, rubbing against Kurt's slim back. He exhales, guiding his mate's small hand in tugging at Naseer's curls, seeing his Beta shiver in enjoyment. "Just like that, sweet one, he loves when you pull his hair like that, see? You make us both feel so good, Kurt, you're doing so good for us..." Corrigan slowly pulls his fingers free, guiding his cock to press inside instead -- sooner than he might usually, but wanting to soothe the sting of abandonment from earlier. "Come for me, beloved. I'm here, I won't leave you again. Never again, Kurt, never."
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Date: 2023-06-05 10:55 pm (UTC)Maybe it's the surprising pleasure of pain they inadvertently discovered yesterday. Not just physical pain lovingly given, but emotional pain as well, spiritual pain. The wolves don't find them reprehensible for enjoying their attentions, the ones they were always taught were shameful and filthy. In fact, they encourage Kurt to let go, to surrender, to feel the wealth of sensation overwhelming them with every part of their body and soul.
When they do, finally allowing themself to feel everything—Naseer humming around their cock when they pull his hair, his head bobbing faster and more focused, Corrigan's fingers leaving them and his thick flared cock taking their place, filling them up so completely—the pleasure is explosive. Kurt comes with a shuddering wail, clenching Naseer's hair as they empty down his tight, hot throat, their toes curling into the furs.
The Beta, terribly pleased with his performance, slowly pulls back once Kurt's cock stops twitching on his tongue. He swallows every drop of their spend with a satisfied moan, licking them clean, barely even needing to catch his breath before he starts showering them with praise. "Stunning, you're so perfect for us, beloved little dove, you did beautifully." The whole time, he presses hungry kisses to their shuddering stomach, their quivering thighs. He can see where Corrigan is joined with their mate, and it makes his mouth water.
"That's it, very good, deep breaths for me, my love," Naseer purrs, running his hands over Kurt's heaving chest, bitten and swollen and slick with salve. He steals a kiss from his breathless mate, then from his Alpha, shooting Corrigan a wolfish grin as he pulls back. "They should catch their breath before returning the favor, yes?"
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Date: 2023-06-06 04:56 am (UTC)"So indulgent," Corrigan breathes out when he finally releases Naseer, raining a few more kisses across his flushed, blissful face. "But yes, catch your breath, little love." He releases his grip on Naseer, wraps both arms around Kurt and snuggles them closer against his chest, feeling their pulse racing wildly, the heave of each breath. Best of all, he can feel their pleasure singing through the pack link, a soaring, blissful feeling that's achingly sweet in how new it is. Every touch is a marvel, a revelation of all the wondrous things their body can do.
Corrigan strokes a big hand up and down over Kurt's shuddering stomach, murmuring against their neck: "Beloved, we're just getting started. Just you wait..."
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Date: 2023-06-20 06:34 pm (UTC)It does wonders for Kurt's anxious nerves, letting their hungry mates help themselves to their body. They completely forget ever being frightened of them. How could they be frightened of Kai, patiently teaching them how to pleasure him with their hands, or of Leo, licking and sucking their sensitive nipples while fucking them slow and deep, or of Benji, gasping breathlessly as he comes down their throat for the first time? How could they be frightened of their Alpha, watching his pack enjoy their mate with a loving smile on his face?
Kurt wishes this would go on forever. This mindless, all-consuming bliss, the roaring swells of pleasure and joy inside them every time they come, every time they take a knot, every time their stomach swells close to bursting with their mates' spend.
But it too comes to an end. After relieving themselves within their mate, the pack regains its composure, cleaning the little human up and allowing them their rest. The herbal medicines have left them free of pain and nerves, the pack's focused attentions leaving them giggly and affectionate within the furs, cuddling with anyone who wants to. They all talk for a while, shadows inching across the dusty cabin floor as they get to know each other throughout the day, sharing how long the pack has been here, when they all joined, who claimed who. Kurt shares what they're comfortable sharing, telling the curious pack about their skills, their interests, their dreams of being a homesteader.
Being a wolf isn't so different from being a human as they'd been lead to believe.
By the time the sun starts waning, Kurt is up and about, exploring the cabin with Benji by their side. Naseer is tending to the simmering stew, having shown them what herbs he uses to flavor the cooking meat—teaching them, as they may take over preparing meals in the future—leaving the youngest pack members to prepare the bowls for eating.
"You carved these yourself?" Kurt asks, mesmerized as they turn a rough hewn bowl over in their hands. "That's amazing. You're really talented, Benji."
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Date: 2023-06-20 09:05 pm (UTC)Kurt had done that. Beautiful, sweet-voiced, bright-eyed Kurt, their hair neatly rebraided (Benji had pulled most of it loose when Kurt was sucking him off, and had apologized profusely, the words not ringing fully true considering he was still coming as he said them) and hanging down their back, their bare feet so small against the dusty ground. Corrigan idly thinks about brooms, about the way the shabby little cabin can be fixed up, the unused back room turned into a proper bedroom, the ways he can turn their den into a home. He wants to do it all immediately, wants to give Kurt everything they've ever dreamed of, everything they could possibly want.
There's time, though. Time for him to chuckle as Kai bounds up, grabbing Benji around the waist and nuzzling at his neck, teasing: "Look at you blushing, pup, like you didn't just come your brains out down their pretty throat. Don't be so modest."
"I'm not blushing!" Benji squawks, absolutely blushing as he tries to wriggle free from his brother's grasp.
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Date: 2023-06-20 11:14 pm (UTC)They're also blushing from Kai's words, still remembering the taste of Benji's cock in their mouth, his spend coating their tongue. Part of them wonders if they'll ever get used to this. The sex, the pleasure, their own nudity in the presence of five adult men. How freely they all talk about sex, like it's not shameful or wrong in the slightest. How generous they are with their praise. No one has ever called their throat pretty before.
Kurt supposes they will get used to it with time. Because even as strange and alien as this all is, they know they can never go back to a human life ever again. Why would they want to? Being with the wolves feels so good, so safe.
"Now, be nice to your brother, Kai," they admonish gently, still beaming, crooked teeth and all. "I think Benji is very talented. Carving tableware by hand is no joke! Humans need special machines to even do this, did you know that?" They carefully stack the bowls into each other, feeling the weight of them in their arms. Feeding six people is no joke either, it's heavy work!
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Date: 2023-06-21 12:54 am (UTC)Even Corrigan, who knows inherently an Alpha's power and draw, understands that the heart of his pack has shifted. If it came to it, each of his brothers would choose Kurt's safety, Kurt's life over their own -- over even their Alpha’s. The thought is surprisingly not troubling to him. He'd rather they choose Kurt, each time.
Corrigan wants deeply to just lounge back in the furs until dinnertime, but he pauses. Perhaps some preternatural Alpha sense tells him to be cautious, seeing the teetering bowls in Kurt's arms, so close to Benji and Kai's roughhousing. "Careful," he barks at the wolves, even as Benji squirms free and stumbles over his own feet.
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Date: 2023-06-21 01:36 am (UTC)It also proves to be dangerous. Benji stumbles away from Kai, his long awkward arms flailing as he tries to catch himself, smacking little Kurt right between their shoulders just as they turn to carry the bowls back to the fireplace. Startled, they stumble too, losing their balance, losing their grip, falling—
Everything happens all at once. Bowls go flying, clattering to the ground with an awful cacophony of wood meeting wood, sending dust flying into the air. One of the bowls ricochets off a jar of powdered nettle left out on the counter, which shatters as soon as it hits the floor, powder and glass going everywhere. Kurt hits the floor too with a sharp cry, just barely catching themself on their elbows, pain shooting through their body from the sudden impact, skin breaking. Thankfully, as they push themself up, it seems they're largely unharmed, escaping with only scrapes and bruises.
But when they look up to see the damage they've caused, they fear that might not be the case for long. They made such an awful mess. They spilled precious medicine all over the floor. They cracked a couple of Benji's beautiful handmade bowls, one of them split right down the middle. Father would've beat them within an inch of their life if they did this to him.
But they're not with Father. They're surrounded and outnumbered by five strangers twice their size, with teeth that could snap them in half. The stab of fear in their gut at that thought is petrifying, making their blood run ice cold.
"Sorry," they barely manage, unable to look at any of them as they push themself up on their knees, trembling hands trying and failing to sweep up their mess. It's hard to see anything through the vale of tears over their eyes. "Sorry, s-sorry, I'm s-so sorry, please..."
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Date: 2023-06-21 02:53 am (UTC)As long as he lives, Corrigan will remember the flood of terror that shot through his mate's scent, the way they looked kneeling on the ground, curled in on themselves, apologizing over and over and reaching out to try and clean up glass with their shaking hands. As long as he lives, there's a part of him that will never forgive himself for letting that happen.
He acts quickly -- much quicker than the stricken Benji, who's clutching his hand to his chest, than Kai, who's staring in confusion and horror, than Leo, who's turned to Naseer to wordlessly demand answers for Kurt's reaction. Quicker than Naseer, who Corrigan knows remembers a version of this fear, old and buried, a childhood terror of punishment that his Alpha has spent years trying to erase. Now it's back, captured in the way Kurt’s hands are trying to scoop up the bits of glass, the way they're angled away from the pack, shoulders braced, head down. Waiting for the violence, the blow.
It doesn't come. It'll never come again. Corrigan wants to say it, scream it, seal it in the blood of whoever did this to his mate. Instead, he reaches out, hands catching Kurt's and holding them firmly, away from the glass. "Beloved, don't," he says, a soft kind of agony in his voice. "You'll hurt yourself. Don't."
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Date: 2023-06-21 03:29 am (UTC)When you're punished for every perceived fault and slight, you learn to behave in ways that appease people. You quickly learn to make yourself meek, to apologize, to not do anything that will further provoke violent punishment, like argue or protest or run or hide or make eye contact. You learn to shut up when told, and to grovel when not. You learn to make yourself a smaller target once the first blow has been dealt.
Corrigan tells them to stop sweeping, so they do. They whimper as he takes their hands—firm, not squeezing, not crushing, just firm—but quickly go still in his grip. Their palms are covered with dust and nettle powder, wet with fallen tears. They keep their head down, staring at their scraped knees, body trembling, throat closing up, lungs not taking air, heart pounding against their ribs.
They keep apologizing. "I'm sorry, please, I d-didn't mean to— I'll clean it all up, I'll fix it, p-please, I'm so sorry."
Naseer can only stare in shock, their panic familiar and devastating in a way he thought he'd long since buried. Seeing that fear and pain reflected in his mate is almost too much to bear. Benji is starting to panic too, reaching for Kai, wide eyes filling with tears and flicking between his brother and his Alpha, not knowing what to do. It's his fault, isn't it? He should fix it, shouldn't he? Why is Kurt saying they'll fix it? It's not their fault!
"It's m-my fault," Kurt whimpers, thoughtlessly reciting all the things they've been taught to say to protect themself, "I'm so stupid, Papa, please, I'm s-sorry—"
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Date: 2023-06-21 06:23 am (UTC)There's a bitterly cruel symmetry in how Kurt's response to pain, to fear, is also to call out for their father -- but in a plea for mercy, for forgiveness, to stave off the inevitable punishment. Corrigan had suspected the cause of his mate's deep-held pain, as had Naseer, but Kurt's tearful begging brings it into stark confirmation. For the rest of the pack, it's an unthinkable, abhorrent thought: first, that there are parents who harm their own children. Second, that one of them shares blood with the pack's beloved, their chosen, their mate.
The ripple of realization is tangible, a mixture of rage and grief and confusion, audible snarls as the pack finally puts together the pieces. Benji is half-growling, half-sniffling, Kai looks ready to put his fist through the wall and Corrigan loves them, loves their righteous fury, their impulsive rage, but they are not helping. He doesn't blame them, but this isn't the place Kurt needs to be, knelt on the ground, surrounded by anger. They've been there too many times.
So the Alpha acts, leans forward and scoops his mate easily into his arms, folding them against his warm, broad chest. He meets Naseer's gaze, briefly, half-apology -- he won't go far, but he needs Kurt to have space to get out of the terrified memory they're trapped in. He needs his Beta to calm the others, soothe them through this initial shock, just for a little. Help the pack be strong so they can comfort their mate.
Then Corrigan steps outside, into the chilly shock of the evening air, into the bright scent of the forest and the sound of the river and the soft coo of owls and mourning doves -- all different from the sounds and scents of Kurt's human world, he hopes. And, if that isn't enough to bring them back, Corrigan keeps them close to his chest, hand stroking up and down their shivering back, voice soft and rumbling through his chest and into theirs: "My love, my beloved, you're safe. You're safe. You're here, you're with me, I won't let anyone hurt you, ever again. You're safe, Kurt. You're safe."
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Date: 2023-06-21 11:52 pm (UTC)Corrigan scoops them up, and Kurt struggles, wriggling in his arms and pushing at his broad chest, scared out of their mind. They don't catch Naseer's haunted but understanding nod, nor Benji's squawk of protest, nor the shuffling of feet as Kai and Leo both try to push their way past the Beta to follow Corrigan outside. There's a burst of noise, yelling from within the cabin, Naseer's voice firm but gentle as he tries calming the pack, but the words are obscured by the door closing, by Alpha carrying them further and further away into the cold and dark.
He's speaking to them. They don't understand what he says, can't really hear the words, only that his voice is so gentle. They hiccup, shuddering, shaking their head, hands curling into trembling fists against his chest. Why is he so gentle with them? Why isn't he hitting them?
Why does he keep saying they're safe? It doesn't make any sense.
"I'm so sorry." Kurt starts sobbing. It's quiet at first, but once they start they can't stop, the dam bursting wide open. Soon their whole body is wracked with sobs, loud and wet and pained, wrenching out of their chest one after another while they curl up tight in Alpha's arms. "I d-didn't mean to b-break anyth-thing, I'm so s-sorry, I— I didn't mean to, please! I d-don't wanna go—!"
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Date: 2023-06-22 05:18 am (UTC)It passes, and the escape attempts are replaced with Kurt sobbing in his arms, which still wrenches at Corrigan’s deepest soul, but is mildly more bearable. He's no longer the enemy Kurt knows, no longer the stand-in for the terrified young human's greatest fear (their father, their father, someone who gave Kurt life, whose blood will one day run in the veins of Corrigan’s own pups, the person whose blood he most longs to taste).
Corrigan is Alpha again, and Kurt still fears punishment, that much is clear in their panicked scent and wrenching sobs. He cradles his mate to his chest, projecting calm through the pack link -- both for Kurt's sake and the wolves left in the cabin, soothing and reassuring: safe, they're safe, be calm, be at peace, all is well, they're with me, no harm will come to them. When the tumultuous roil of anger and grief subsides somewhat, Corrigan turns his attention back to Kurt, speaking aloud.
"All is forgiven, my love," he murmurs, turning toward the cabin, letting Kurt see it's light and warmth. "You've done nothing wrong and you won't be punished. This isn't a punishment. We'll stay here until you're ready to go back, and then we'll return." He presses kisses to Kurt's tousled hair, their temple, swaying a little as he speaks in a low, soothing, rumbling voice. "You aren't leaving us, beloved. You're ours, you're mine, you're never going back there. This is your home and you're safe in it, Kurt."
A hesitation, then -- even as it hurts, as it claws at the deepest parts of Corrigan’s soul to hear those wrenching sobs -- he adds: "You're allowed to cry, my love. You can cry. There will be no punishment, and I will be here when you begin and I will be here at the end. I won't let you go. You can cry."
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Date: 2023-06-22 08:35 am (UTC)But Alpha promised. He promised the pack wouldn't hurt them, he promised they would be safe here. He promised they wouldn't ever have to go back. Even now, as they tremble and bawl in his arms, Alpha tells them they've done nothing wrong, they won't be punished, they'll stay with the pack who will love and protect them no matter what, no matter how hard they cry.
He gives them permission to cry. Despite their fear of retribution, all Kurt wanted more than anything was permission.
A life time's worth of grief pours from them in shuddering wails, splitting the cool evening air. They weep uncontrollably for a while, grasping their Alpha, clinging to him for safety, for comfort. Every inch of their body hurts as tension they never knew they had starts unraveling, melting away as it finally starts sinking in that they're safe. They're safe, they're safe, the pack will protect them, Alpha will protect them, they're finally safe.
It feels like an eternity, but their sobs eventually fade into wet brittle hiccups, their frame going slack and shaky in his strong arms. They haven't cried this hard in a long time. Haven't been able to. Or allowed. It's only in the safety of Corrigan's arms that their fear and grief could finally escape. "S-Sorry," they whimper, but it's not the panicked plea for mercy from earlier. "I d-didn't mean to get s-so frightened..."
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Date: 2023-06-22 05:42 pm (UTC)The thoughts aren't exactly verbal, more an echoed cacophony of emotions between the pack, telegraphed through the link and through the scent in the air. Corrigan and his wolves are of one mind on this, and the promise of future vengeance is enough to calm their ferociously protective instincts. For now.
Kurt hopefully misses it -- they might protest, might insist they deserved it all, the mistreatment and violence and abuse. It'll take time for them to understand that they're safe, not only to weep and mourn their stolen life, but to look back and recognize it was stolen in the first place. Corrigan understands that much, an old internal wound from the months after Naseer's rescue from another village, remembering the way his Beta had behaved in those days -- like a caged beast relearning how to walk and talk and exist without fear. Corrigan remembers how long it takes to unlearn that kind of terror.
So he settles in the hollow of a tree, back against it's trunk, rocking and murmuring to Kurt as they sob against his chest. When it passes, when his mate is weary and weak, he kisses their forehead, strokes their hair back. "I know you didn't, love," he responds softly. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault, all right? Not a bit of it."
He'll say it until Kurt believes it. Until they accept that it's true.
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Date: 2023-06-22 06:04 pm (UTC)But one thing they can believe—tentatively, with major trepidation—is that Corrigan wishes them no harm. He and the pack alike have been nothing but kind to them, playful and eager and loving, so happy to claim them as their collective mate. Even after spilling Naseer's carefully prepared medicine, after shattering Benji's beautiful handmade bowls, after thoroughly ruining dinner, Corrigan still has only their safety and happiness in mind. He cradles them close, kisses them, soothes them with touch, chasing the shivers and hiccups away with those big warm hands. He afforded them the privacy to break down, without leaving them cold and alone with their fear.
He cares. They all care. They must.
"Th-Thank you..." It's quiet and hoarse, not entirely convinced. Trembling, they bury their face in Alpha's shoulder, arms slowly looping around his neck. "I f-feel awful. I..." Kurt frowns, trying to pull at the threads of all the things they're feeling right now, sort them all into boxes that make sense. It's hard to concentrate through the blooming headache.
"I can f-feel them... th-the pack." It's the only thing that makes sense. Their arms tighten around him. "Everyone feels s-so upset... I-I didn't mean to upset anyone, A-Alpha."
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Date: 2023-06-23 12:47 am (UTC)"Not upset, little bird," he corrects gently, chin resting on Kurt's hair, coaxing away the last shivery hiccups. "Not at you. They're worried about you, that's all." Not strictly true -- the pack is enraged, but they're doing their best to project a sense of calm instead, rather than letting the anger bleed into the link. "You didn't do anything wrong, Kurt. If anything, they're more annoyed at me for spriting you away."
Corrigan slowly rises to his feet, easily carrying Kurt back towards the warmth of the cabin. "Close your eyes, beloved. Feel what they're truly thinking, what they want." Interpreting the pack link is a nuanced art -- wolves don't think in words, more emotions and senses and pictures, and everything that travels through that connection is pure wolf. There's a sense of unease, of concern, the impression of things being tidied up, put away -- no more broken glass or cracked bowls. There's the food over the fire and the fluffed-up furs, the pack clustered together and waiting.
And above it all, an eager, hopeful sense, so vivid it’s nearly an audible plea -- come back home. Come back to us. Come home.
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Date: 2023-06-23 08:58 pm (UTC)But they try their best to believe him. No one would blame Kurt for feeling a little vulnerable in this moment, right? Who could fault them for still being fearful, apprehensive, a touch spooked? Their chest still hitches with every breath, echoes of their wrenching sobs. But Alpha wouldn't lie to them. Right?
So they try their best to do as he says, pushing down their own fear as the cabin approaches so they can close their eyes and focus. It's hard, disentangling all the warring sensations within, naming which feelings are their own. But there is one emotion that rings out louder than the rest. A hopeful sensation, a wanting, a loving call.
Come home.
Kurt opens their eyes as the door creaks back open, the warmth of the fire against chilled skin making them shiver. They see their mates perk up, one by one, anxious eyes turning towards them, relieved that they're still here, safe and held and much less frightened. Kai is scrubbing at his face, eyes red-rimmed and glassy, Leo's face splits into the biggest smile they've ever seen, Naseer deflates with relief, nearly sinking through the floor. They're all so happy to see them. Even Kurt can't misinterpret that swell of emotion through the pack link, making their eyes burn anew.
"Remember," Naseer gently whispers, a big hand squeezing Benji's trembling shoulder. "Give them a little space. They'll let us know when they're ready." The Beta seeks Corrigan's gaze, hoping and praying for good news. That it all went well out there. Hearing their wails of despair while trying to stay calm for the rest of the pack was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.
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Date: 2023-06-24 02:44 am (UTC)The Alpha’s soft smile is partially for the pack and partially in pride. Kurt is already so much braver than they realize. He drops a kiss on the top of their head, murmuring, "Sweet little bird, that's it. Let's get you warmed up, hm?"
Of course, Corrigan hadn't let Kurt get even slightly chilled, but the words give the pack something to do -- Leo pulling a fluffy ermine skin from the pile in the corner and hesitantly offering it, Benji scurrying over to shut the door against the chill, Naseer scooping the warm, savory stew into a bowl. Corrigan settles on the furs once more, accepting the ermine and the bowl on Kurt's behalf, ensuring that his mate's space is honored until they're ready.
But he does pause to stroke his fingers over the back of Naseer's hand, giving him a long, grateful look. There's tenderness in it, love and thankfulness that Corrigan fully intends to show once Kurt is calmer. Their mate's presence in the pack doesn't mean Corrigan intends to neglect his duties as Alpha. Showing physical affection is an important part of reinforcing harmony in the pack.
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Date: 2023-06-24 05:43 pm (UTC)It will still take some time. But as Kurt curls up in Corrigan's lap, feeling the warmth of the furs draped over their shoulder and the bowl in their hands, seeing the love in the gazes of every wolf around them, they get closer and closer to believing Alpha's words.
They're safe here. They will always be safe here.
"Th-Thank you," they murmur hoarsely, cradling the bowl of stew. As it becomes clear they won't face punishment from the pack, Kurt starts to feel embarrassed for having reacted so strongly. It prompts a warm curl of understanding through the pack link, Naseer gazing up at them from his seat on the floor, tending to the food. No one blames you, it says. Kurt sniffles, trying to believe it.
"Why don't you pups get ready for bed?" the Beta suggests, glancing around at the boys, all aimlessly standing around, not sure what to do. "It's been an exciting couple of days. We all need our rest."
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Date: 2023-06-25 06:00 am (UTC)Kai exhales, still red-eyed, then elbows Benji, taking initiative. "Hey, race you to the river!" Benji stumbles, swats at Kai and hurtles after him and Leo out the door.
There's a soft curl of approval from Corrigan towards Kai -- he'll be rewarded for that, later, too -- before he turns back to nuzzle at Kurt's shoulder. "Eat up, love, you need your strength," he murmurs. Then, giving Naseer a woeful, doe-eyed look: "Where's my dinner?"
The pot is literally right there and Corrigan can totally reach it himself, but he wants to be waited on.
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Date: 2023-06-26 02:24 am (UTC)Should he ever splinter off from the pack someday, it would be a terrible loss. But he'd make a great Alpha someday.
Maybe he wouldn't expect to be waited on hand and foot the way their current one does.
"Say please," Naseer quips, eyebrow raised, already scooping stew into a bowl for his no-good lazy-bones Alpha. "Like you ever listen to me. Maybe you could help teach Cor some manners, little dove." Kurt blushes, hiding their face in their own bowl, making the Beta laugh warmly. "I have a feeling he'd finally learn something for once, if it came from you."
"I d-dunno about that," the human manages, shakily wiping stew from their chin. The warmth, the food, the quiet, all the attention... it's helping them relax once more, settling heavy and boneless in Alpha's lap.
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Date: 2023-06-26 04:12 am (UTC)And today had been hard on him, hard on them all. But so, so worth it, with Kurt going relaxed and warm in his lap. Corrigan finds his bite on their neck, kisses it softly, a silent reminder of who they are, where they belong. "Are you all right with everyone sleeping close by?" It's gentle, no pressure. If Kurt still needs their space, Corrigan will stay up all night making sure every pack member gets his comforting presence.
Especially Naseer. The Alpha tangles their fingers together, not too close -- not until Kurt says it's all right -- but not letting him out of reach. There are old ghosts awakening in his Beta, and Corrigan won't allow that. He needs to put them back to rest, before he can sleep.
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Date: 2023-06-26 04:36 am (UTC)Just as he has saved their mate. The fear and trauma that left them bawling and near catatonic earlier is eased away with every kiss, every gentle reassuring word, every caress by those same hands that ease Naseer's own ghosts. They look so small and pale curled up against Corrigan, shivering from his touch.
How anyone could bring themself to hurt such a precious being is a mystery to him. No one will ever hurt them like that again.
"Um... I th-think that's fine," Kurt says, feeling the line of tension in their shoulders give way from the kiss to their claiming bite. Being surrounded by all of their mates through the night doesn't sound so overwhelming anymore. If anything, it makes them feel safer. Protected from ghosts in the night.
Having convinced themself, they close their eyes and nod firmly, settling fully against Corrigan. "Y-Yes, Alpha, I'll be all right."
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