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[courtinsession]

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[kyley_b]

i was just suggesting options for your monster dong.

no! i just wanted you to think i was so good you'd regret it if i never saw you again.

[courtinsession]

My monster dong is truly fortunate to have you as a personal stylist.

Huh.
Well. It worked.

[kyley_b]

it is, actually.

that's because i'm super smart. and you obviously could not resist my charms, mostly because evidence indicates you love brats.

[courtinsession]

I mean, my dick routinely gets to be in or around you, so yeah, it's pretty damn lucky.

You bamboozled all my defenses and I was none the wiser, it's true. You're an evil genius mastermind, baby.

[kyley_b]

i consider myself pretty lucky, too.

thank you. for these compliments, sir i will send you one (1) picture of your choosing. 🍆 allowed.

[courtinsession]

Yeah? Even though I can be a big asshole?

Oh damn. Can I get uhhhh 🍅🍅🍅🍅???



Is that the right fruit

[kyley_b]

i like that you're an asshole. probably stems from childhood trauma.

no. no, not even close omfg

[But he sends over a picture anyway: a mirror selfie of Kyle looking over his shoulder, shorts tucked under his butt.]

[courtinsession]

Hey, psychoanalyzing me is cheating, you know it turns me on.

[There's a reverent pause.]

Kyle, babe, I need you to know that while I am deeply in awe of your intellect and wit and genius, I am also shallow as fuck and desire you carnally.

[kyley_b]

that was more of a self burn but lol.

i'm kinda glad you do.
i should send you like, jockstrap pics, i feel you'd be into that.

[courtinsession]

A little self-deprecation makes for good foreplay.

God, I hate how well you've got me pegged. Have you ever topped someone wearing a jockstrap? Hot as FUCK.

[kyley_b]

i own one, you know. i could wear it for you. also i don't believe you hate it, i think you looooove it. i think you're sitting there thinking goddamn kyle is just the most considerate of lovers, i'm so lucky he's head over heels for me.

[courtinsession]

You're head over heels? Really?

[kyley_b]

well i mean

yeah.

is that weird? am i not supposed to feel anything for you or anybody we're seeing orrrr

i'm new to all of this, you know.

[courtinsession]

No, no, no it's not weird. It's not.

It's nice. It's new.

Define "all this".

[kyley_b]

ok cool. i think it's nice, too.

dating, in general. uhm. random dicksucking contests and stuff.

[courtinsession]

I think most things you do are nice, Kyle.

Ahhhh, that stuff. We sort of went from slow to really fast really fast, didn't we? How are you feeling about all that?

[kyley_b]

aw no, i'm a dick sometimes.

yeah, yeah we did. i'm cool, i think. kurt's my friend, after all. i had them over for dinner and they promised i could make them watch lord of the rings soon.

is that ok with you?

[courtinsession]

You're a cute duck.

Well, first of all, that's incredibly adorable and nerdy and I love it for you. Secondly, of course it is. You're both


Extremely important to me. Let's put it that way.

[kyley_b]

thank you.

they're good movies!

ok good! because we were talking and we were both like well i still wanna see corry, of course i'm wild about him, omg me too, and then we talked about how annoying and hot you are for a bit. and i was like oh no do you think he'll be mad about all the sex and kurt was like don't be dumb and they were right it's not like you'd be upset about us doing that and then we went to bed and i made us waffles in the morning.

[courtinsession]

You both think I'm annoying and hot? I'm going to screencap that so I can tease them about it later.

But yeah. Kurt's usually right.
I want you guys to be happy, you know.

[kyley_b]

you know you are.

and we want you to be happy, too. so. this is kinda cool, huh? this whole menage a trois thing or whatever. we should do a triple date. like we all go somewhere. the aquarium or something.

[courtinsession]

Very French, very cool. I've never actually been to an aquarium. Is there a place we can make out next to the sharks or something?

[kyley_b]

uhhh maybe? we could go somewhere else, i just thought it would be a fun date. it's educational!

[courtinsession]

Babe, if I can kiss you in front of a shark, then hear you excitedly educate me about fish, I'll be a happy man.

You're cute when you info-dump.

[kyley_b]

lucky for you, i do that a lot. ok cool, i'll make it happen.

and you and i can do something on our own too. i won't neglect you.