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Corrigan Molloy ([personal profile] courtinsession) wrote2022-09-02 09:12 pm

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princessfreyja: (sobbing)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-22 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't feel real. It can't be. It never is. Kurt has so rarely known comfort like this, they don't know what to do with themself, caught between wanting to push away and curl further into it, disappear within it. Only the women at school and church would hold them like this, gently rock them, soothe their pain and fear with kisses and kind words, but even that stopped as they grew older, because boys shouldn't cry. So this must be some kind of trick. Some kind of ruse in order to punish them.

But Alpha promised. He promised the pack wouldn't hurt them, he promised they would be safe here. He promised they wouldn't ever have to go back. Even now, as they tremble and bawl in his arms, Alpha tells them they've done nothing wrong, they won't be punished, they'll stay with the pack who will love and protect them no matter what, no matter how hard they cry.

He gives them permission to cry. Despite their fear of retribution, all Kurt wanted more than anything was permission.

A life time's worth of grief pours from them in shuddering wails, splitting the cool evening air. They weep uncontrollably for a while, grasping their Alpha, clinging to him for safety, for comfort. Every inch of their body hurts as tension they never knew they had starts unraveling, melting away as it finally starts sinking in that they're safe. They're safe, they're safe, the pack will protect them, Alpha will protect them, they're finally safe.

It feels like an eternity, but their sobs eventually fade into wet brittle hiccups, their frame going slack and shaky in his strong arms. They haven't cried this hard in a long time. Haven't been able to. Or allowed. It's only in the safety of Corrigan's arms that their fear and grief could finally escape. "S-Sorry," they whimper, but it's not the panicked plea for mercy from earlier. "I d-didn't mean to get s-so frightened..."
princessfreyja: (haunted)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-22 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
He's right. They may never accept that as truth. It may well take the rest of Kurt's life to recognize the true depths of their trauma, how badly they'd been betrayed by not only their family, but by their community as well. It may well be months or years until they believe Corrigan when he says they're not at fault, if they ever actually do.

But one thing they can believe—tentatively, with major trepidation—is that Corrigan wishes them no harm. He and the pack alike have been nothing but kind to them, playful and eager and loving, so happy to claim them as their collective mate. Even after spilling Naseer's carefully prepared medicine, after shattering Benji's beautiful handmade bowls, after thoroughly ruining dinner, Corrigan still has only their safety and happiness in mind. He cradles them close, kisses them, soothes them with touch, chasing the shivers and hiccups away with those big warm hands. He afforded them the privacy to break down, without leaving them cold and alone with their fear.

He cares. They all care. They must.

"Th-Thank you..." It's quiet and hoarse, not entirely convinced. Trembling, they bury their face in Alpha's shoulder, arms slowly looping around his neck. "I f-feel awful. I..." Kurt frowns, trying to pull at the threads of all the things they're feeling right now, sort them all into boxes that make sense. It's hard to concentrate through the blooming headache.

"I can f-feel them... th-the pack." It's the only thing that makes sense. Their arms tighten around him. "Everyone feels s-so upset... I-I didn't mean to upset anyone, A-Alpha."
princessfreyja: (concerned)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-23 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Kurt clings onto Corrigan as he rises, curling up tighter in his arms, whimpering softly like they're nervous to return to the cabin. Yes, Alpha says the pack is not upset with them, not angry at them for their little outburst, but it's not so easy to believe. The rage Kurt feels isn't their own, but it's still real, even if they only feel inklings of it. This is more than annoyance at Alpha for taking them outside. This is blood fury.

But they try their best to believe him. No one would blame Kurt for feeling a little vulnerable in this moment, right? Who could fault them for still being fearful, apprehensive, a touch spooked? Their chest still hitches with every breath, echoes of their wrenching sobs. But Alpha wouldn't lie to them. Right?

So they try their best to do as he says, pushing down their own fear as the cabin approaches so they can close their eyes and focus. It's hard, disentangling all the warring sensations within, naming which feelings are their own. But there is one emotion that rings out louder than the rest. A hopeful sensation, a wanting, a loving call.

Come home.

Kurt opens their eyes as the door creaks back open, the warmth of the fire against chilled skin making them shiver. They see their mates perk up, one by one, anxious eyes turning towards them, relieved that they're still here, safe and held and much less frightened. Kai is scrubbing at his face, eyes red-rimmed and glassy, Leo's face splits into the biggest smile they've ever seen, Naseer deflates with relief, nearly sinking through the floor. They're all so happy to see them. Even Kurt can't misinterpret that swell of emotion through the pack link, making their eyes burn anew.

"Remember," Naseer gently whispers, a big hand squeezing Benji's trembling shoulder. "Give them a little space. They'll let us know when they're ready." The Beta seeks Corrigan's gaze, hoping and praying for good news. That it all went well out there. Hearing their wails of despair while trying to stay calm for the rest of the pack was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.
princessfreyja: (upset)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-24 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
The pack hurries to tend to them, being so so mindful of their space, and Kurt has never been more grateful of anything or anyone in their life. There are no demands for their attention, no insistence they touch or speak to anyone until they want to. No punishment.

It will still take some time. But as Kurt curls up in Corrigan's lap, feeling the warmth of the furs draped over their shoulder and the bowl in their hands, seeing the love in the gazes of every wolf around them, they get closer and closer to believing Alpha's words.

They're safe here. They will always be safe here.

"Th-Thank you," they murmur hoarsely, cradling the bowl of stew. As it becomes clear they won't face punishment from the pack, Kurt starts to feel embarrassed for having reacted so strongly. It prompts a warm curl of understanding through the pack link, Naseer gazing up at them from his seat on the floor, tending to the food. No one blames you, it says. Kurt sniffles, trying to believe it.

"Why don't you pups get ready for bed?" the Beta suggests, glancing around at the boys, all aimlessly standing around, not sure what to do. "It's been an exciting couple of days. We all need our rest."
princessfreyja: (contemplative)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-26 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Naseer couldn't be prouder of Kai. The growth he's shown over the years has been promising, if a little slow—some wolves seem to stay pups for life—but the sensitivity and grace he's shown just in the day and a half they've known Kurt has been breathtaking. Taking initiative, reading their emotions, encouraging his pack mates, being so careful and gentle with Kurt...

Should he ever splinter off from the pack someday, it would be a terrible loss. But he'd make a great Alpha someday.

Maybe he wouldn't expect to be waited on hand and foot the way their current one does.

"Say please," Naseer quips, eyebrow raised, already scooping stew into a bowl for his no-good lazy-bones Alpha. "Like you ever listen to me. Maybe you could help teach Cor some manners, little dove." Kurt blushes, hiding their face in their own bowl, making the Beta laugh warmly. "I have a feeling he'd finally learn something for once, if it came from you."

"I d-dunno about that," the human manages, shakily wiping stew from their chin. The warmth, the food, the quiet, all the attention... it's helping them relax once more, settling heavy and boneless in Alpha's lap.
princessfreyja: (melancholic)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-26 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
The Beta is immediately soothed by Corrigan's affections, the kiss to his wrist prompting a release of breath he's been holding in for a while. For as much as he whines and gripes and rolls his eyes at him, the Alpha is still the center of his world, still the axis on which everything turns, his one constant to anchor him when storms roll in from the past. Gods and spirits only know where Naseer would be now if not for Corrigan. He saved him all those years ago. He continues to save him now.

Just as he has saved their mate. The fear and trauma that left them bawling and near catatonic earlier is eased away with every kiss, every gentle reassuring word, every caress by those same hands that ease Naseer's own ghosts. They look so small and pale curled up against Corrigan, shivering from his touch.

How anyone could bring themself to hurt such a precious being is a mystery to him. No one will ever hurt them like that again.

"Um... I th-think that's fine," Kurt says, feeling the line of tension in their shoulders give way from the kiss to their claiming bite. Being surrounded by all of their mates through the night doesn't sound so overwhelming anymore. If anything, it makes them feel safer. Protected from ghosts in the night.

Having convinced themself, they close their eyes and nod firmly, settling fully against Corrigan. "Y-Yes, Alpha, I'll be all right."
princessfreyja: (contemplative)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-06-28 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Alpha's hand feels really good on their tummy. Really good.

For reasons they can't articulate, the touch of his palm to their stomach immediately soothes their remaining nerves, sending tingly shivers of delight down their spine, just like his lips to the scarring bite had. That, at least, they get. The bites are important. Even a human could feel that, the way their body had immediately reacted to being bitten, being bound to another being as if his teeth had clamped onto their very soul. Each bite is a promise as much as a claim, a precious gift, a tether both physical and spiritual changing them in innumerable ways.

The only thing that's really changed about their stomach is how much stew and come it's been filled with. Right?

Maybe they're just tired. Kurt can feel their eyelids starting to get heavy as they sit in Corrigan's lap, feeling his breathing, hearing his heartbeat, their body warming inside and out from the dinner and fire and furs. That's probably it. They're just sleepy. They just like being touched. That's it.

"Mmm... Leo's right," they giggle softly, shivering from the kiss, snuggling closer to their Alpha. They crack an eye open to see the rest of the pack shuffle back inside, waved closer by Naseer, who hasn't moved from his spot kneeling before Corrigan. "It wouldn't be fair t'keep me all to y-yourself, right? I wanna share."

Feeling warm, sated, safe once more, Kurt reaches an arm out, reaching for the rest of their mates to join them in the furs.
princessfreyja: (sigh)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-01 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
It's almost too good to be true. Every morning they wake up, they half-expect to find themself back in their childhood bedroom, finally awake from a beautiful dream that couldn't possibly last. But they never do. That feeling dwindles day by day as they get accustomed to life with the pack, slowly unlearning all the ugly doubt and self-loathing, slowly forgetting the urge to look over their shoulder.

They're not waking up from this. No one is coming to take them away. It's just them and their wolves, playing and learning and loving each other fearlessly. Kurt has never felt happiness like this before.

Something's come over them lately though, dampening their bright mood. What started as weird little pangs and random nausea throughout the day has grown into a persistent stomachache—nothing too severe or painful, but definitely distracting. It must have started showing on their face, or been felt through the link, and as soon as Corrigan asks, they huff softly, annoyed at their own body. They can't overindulge in the affections of their pack with an upset tummy!

"I'm fine, Alpha, I think. It's just—" Kurt frowns, cupping their stomach, naked skin warmed by the sunlight. "My stomach's been feeling weird lately. Maybe I ate something I shouldn't have?"
princessfreyja: (Default)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-01 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Those were just huckleberries, love," Kurt teases back, giggling and squealing as they too suffer the splash damage, ice cold water on sun drenched skin. Even with a tummy ache, being with the pack feels so good now. Natural and free. Any fear they have felt has been completely accidental and randomly triggered, through no fault of the wolves.

None of them would ever hurt them. Kurt can't remember having ever laughed so freely in their life.

"Aside from the usual places?" they quip, shooting their Alpha a lopsided grin as they wriggle their hips into his lap. It's been a while since the wolves have actually left them in pain. Turns out the human body is tremendously adaptable when full of wolf pheromones. "Um... Just kinda nauseous now and then? And my chest," they say, sitting up straight and cupping their hands over their chest. "It's felt really tender and puffy lately..."
princessfreyja: (moan)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-01 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Kurt has gotten better at reading the pack link over the past few weeks—not great, not even good, just better—but it's still too subtle and fickle of an art for them to fully grasp yet. They can parse big and simple emotions quite reliably now, like joy or rage or hunger, and can even pick up on who's feeling what to some extent. They're quite proud of themself for understanding even that little.

But even with all that, they have no hope of understanding the sudden rush of emotion the wolves share just now. It's like a jolt, a sudden positive feeling shooting through all of them, making their mates perk up all around them and pay close attention—though to what, they can't say.

Not that they're thinking too hard about that right now, because Alpha starts toying with their nipples and Kurt's mind is suddenly terribly preoccupied. "Aah—! A-Alpha, that— ohhh, that feels s-so good," they whine, hands finding Corrigan's stomach, bracing themself against it as they arch into his hands. "It's so sensitive there, m-much more'n normal... F-Feels really tender, Alpha..."
princessfreyja: (incredulous)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-02 11:57 am (UTC)(link)
Their loud, stuttery reaction definitely isn't typical of them. If it really is happening, then it's much too early on for Naseer to confidently tell. He certainly can't smell anything on them. But maybe this is a sign that their body is finally ready, finally changed enough to comfortably carry and deliver their children, and that hope soars through the Beta as he sits up, petting Leo behind the ears. It's finally happening.

The sudden incredulous look on Kurt's face at Benji's excited words is a little chip in that hope, proving it more brittle than first assumed.

"B-Benji, love, that's— aaah, Alpha, yes, right th-there... Benji, b-baby, that's ridiculous," they manage, glancing over their shoulder at the pup with their eyebrows quirked. They don't like belittling Benji the way his brothers do, having become so protective of him, even when he bumbles around like an overgrown puppy. But this? This is just silly. Even having their sensitive body toyed with, feeling their cock already hardening against Corrigan's stomach, Kurt can't help but giggle, wholly unconvinced.

"I can't g-get pregnant, honey. Only girls c-can have b-babies."

Corrigan should be able to feel the full weight of his Beta's bewildered stare on his skin, the accusing tone of his first and only thought cutting straight through the pack link, aimed directly at him: You mean you haven't told them yet?!
princessfreyja: (taken aback)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-02 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Kurt whines pitifully as Corrigan's touch falls away, not picking up on the shift in mood, too upset that Alpha isn't playing with their nipples anymore to notice. Besides, Benji's suggestion is just so ludicrous, so completely off the wall random and silly, the last thing on Kurt's mind is the thought that any of the wolves are taking it seriously.

So it's fair to say that Corrigan's words are a complete shock to their system. They frown up at him, disbelieving, trying to fight down the blush and arousal so they can really process what he's asking them—which in itself is a tall order.

"Wh-What are you talking about, Alpha? Mentioned what?" The little human's gaze goes from one of their mates to the next, confusion plainly written on their blushing face. They're all staring at them. "Wait, you... y-you don't actually believe I can get pregnant, d-do you?"

Just the very thought is absurd. Sure, with the wolves it doesn't matter if you're man or woman or somewhere inbetween or something entirely different, everyone are equal and can do as they please, not chained to what's decided by society. That's great! Exactly what Kurt always wanted! But that doesn't change the surely immutable laws of nature! When Alpha would growl about breeding them, they definitely didn't think he meant it literally. Is this another species divide, like the transformation and the pack link? Can true werewolf mates actually fall pregnant..?

"I can't. I-It's impossible, I don't have the... parts..."
Edited 2023-07-02 21:02 (UTC)
princessfreyja: (wide eyed)

[personal profile] princessfreyja 2023-07-03 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
"Changes..?"

That can't be right. There's no way. Bodies can't just change like that, there's no treatment or medicine in the world that could change the unchangeable! Kurt is missing very pivotal organs needed for a pregnancy! You can't just grow new organs, how is that even possible?!

But then again... they have changed a lot ever since coming here. Their body can take so much more than they ever thought possible. Their wounds heal faster now, their senses have improved, and they can feel their mates' emotions like they were their own. All things that seemed impossible when they were trapped within humanity.

Could it really be possible..?

Kai's hand is cold and wet from the water as he touches them. But it's not his touch that makes them shiver. If it was really possible, would they want to have babies? Kurt frowns, thinking. In truth, they've always wanted children, but gradually had to settle on the fact that no woman would ever want someone like them. Certainly not to father her children, raise them, provide for them. But if they could truly cut out that step...

Instinctively, they cup their stomach with a small pale hand. Their heart is racing, pulse spiking at the thought that they could actually be pregnant. "I... I mean, if I could, b-but..." Kurt blushes.

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